Therapy for Relationships2018-11-16T20:58:45+00:00

Couples Therapy

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Couples Therapy

You can remember the times when you and your partner really connected and being together felt great. Now it seems like the demands of life have overwhelmed your relationship. Even though you are still together, you often feel lonely and yearn for those good times. A close and supportive relationship is possible.

Learn more about relationship therapy and how to heal or strengthen yourself and your relationship

Strong, secure relationships are necessary for all of us to thrive. At Wellness Collaborative, we view connection and relationships as integral to well-being and optimal living.  That’s why it can be so distressing when we experience disconnection from the most important people in our lives. We help you identify stuck patterns and find new ways to relate so that you and your loved ones feel seen, heard, understood, and safely connected.

Dr. Spiller helps couples interrupt negative cycles that lead to disconnection and learn how to reach for their partners in ways that help the partner respond supportively.

Contact Dr. Spiller

You can makes changes to improve your relationship working either one on one with a therapist or through couples therapy.  Whether you are early in your relationship and want to learn ways to strengthen your connection and prevent future problems or whether your relationship seems to be on the brink of ending, we can help.

Individual Therapy

Most of us are aware of our partner’s behaviors but unaware of our own. Relationships difficulties are rarely the responsibility of one party but are the result of the pattern of interactions between both partners. Working one on one with a therapist, you learn to recognize your own negative patterns and how they show up in your relationship. Problems will seem less confusing and overwhelming, when you can learn to see more of the cycle you and your partner get stuck in. Working with a therapist who is a specialist in relationships can help you see how negative patterns unfold and get entrenched, then assist you change your relationship for the better. Understanding how couples get stuck can increase your empathy and understanding of your partner and improve communication.

Dr. Spiller specializes in helping individuals who are also in couples therapy make the most of the time and resources they are dedicating to improving their relationships.  If you are in couples therapy, individual therapy to support the couples work can make the process go more quickly and smoothly.  Couples facing specific challenges such as a history of trauma or substance use are especially likely to benefit of combined individual and couples therapy.

Individual therapy can also help you heal and recover after a significant relationship ends. When a relationship ends, we can be left wondering what happened and questioning our sense of self.  You tell yourself to “move on” but can’t stop thinking about the past.  Even when a break-up is mutual, it doesn’t mean that closure will come easily.  Part of grieving is accepting that your story has changed and what you hoped for is no longer possible.

On the Brink of Separation or Divorce?

If you or your partner are considering splitting up but are not completely sure that’s the best path, then Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at your options for your relationship.

Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular couples therapy would help–and the other is “leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the relationship.

Our work will help you decide whether to try to restore your relationship to health, move toward break up or divorce, or take a time out and decide later.
The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.

The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys and good guys.

You will come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with the counselor. Why? Because you are starting out in different places.

Our work will also emphasize the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.